Healthy Sorrow

Healthy Sorrow

2 Corinthians 7: ⁸ For even if that letter of mine made you sad, I am not sorry I wrote it. I could have been sorry when I saw that it made you sad for a while. ⁹ But now I am happy—not because I made you sad, but because your sadness made you change your ways. That sadness was used by God, and so we caused you no harm. ¹⁰ For the sadness that is used by God brings a change of heart that leads to salvation—and there is no regret in that! But sadness that is merely human causes death. ¹¹ See what God did with this sadness of yours: how earnest it has made you, how eager to prove your innocence! Such indignation, such alarm, such feelings, such devotion, such readiness to punish wrongdoing! You have shown yourselves to be without fault in the whole matter.

 

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“I’m sorry” I said to the officer. “You are sorry for speeding or are you sorry you got caught?” was the reply. Actually I was sorry I got caught because I loved speeding.

 

• I was going to speed again.
• I was actually angry rather than sorry.
• I was so fixed on speeding that after the ticket, I invested in a radar detector.

 

Paul speaks about two types of sadness, one that is repentant towards GOD and one that appeases humans. He focuses the believer, who wants to repent, on a sorrow that brings life.

 

My Observations

• GOD wants me to want HIM in my life.
• GOD wants me to see HIS ways are perfect and mine are not.
• GOD wants me to be sorry for my sinful ways and give them to HIM, for only HE can change my ways.

 

It is humbling to say “I am sorry to the LORD.” I mean, first I must recognize that I am the one in the wrong and need HIS mercy. If I think I am “good” or the one who needs the apology because HE created me, then I will not see HIS deliverance.

 

When I examine my life, I cannot be proud. I mishandle family, friends and situations all the time. I can say “Sorry” all day on a human level, and the faults will remain. BUT GOD is willing to forgive me and cleanse me of anything I have done or am doing or will do. JESUS death was perfection and my belief in HIS resurrection cleanses me of all unrighteousness. I owe my life to HIM.

 

Challenge

• What do you notice about the two types of sadness?
• What, if any, things in your life can you ask GOD for forgiveness?
• When you admit something to GOD, do you feel free?
• Can you help raise people up from their hurt so they can see GOD as a being of forgiveness? 

GOD wants me to come clean

Leviticus 8: ² He said to Aaron, “Bring a bull calf for your sin offering. Bring a ram for your burnt offering. They must not have any flaws. Offer them to the Lord

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GOD doesn’t want stolen money from me. HE also doesn’t want “pretend” service to HIM that aggravates others and pushes them away from HIM. HE wants me to have “clean” sacrifice. HE wants me to earn money the way HE dictates and give generously as HE blesses.

HE wants me to serve out of love, not hatred for “those” people or disdain for “that” person. HE wants me to come to HIM as clean as I can.

Fake love

1 Peter 1: ²² Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart. ²³ For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.

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Embarrassment was the feeling as I stepped into the meeting wearing a suit and all of the senior managers were dressed “business casual.” From that moment I observed my boss’s every move. I took off my tie when he took off his tie. I bought the same pen and notepad.

Once we even showed up wearing very similar jackets. Yes, I had finally mimicked my boss so much that I began parroting his words. This should show my allegiance, I thought. Actually I didn’t like him, but I wanted to get ahead.

• Acting like I am helpful doesn’t mean I am helpful.
• Dressing like I am special, doesn’t make me special.
• Getting involved because I am pressured to be involved leaves me bitter when I get overwhelmed.

“Fake it until I make it” was the thought I had in that environment. I couldn’t “be myself” because they didn’t want “me” they wanted “that guy” over there. I faked my alliance with him in hopes that some of his success would rub off on me. One problem with faking it was I really didn’t want to serve him. I mean if a bus hit him I would have worried for a second but possibly thrown a party after my remorse.

• GOD says to me “do not take salvation lightly.”
• GOD says to me “treat EVERYONE with the same love I have shown you.”
• GOD says to me “show grace and mercy on them and I will show grace and mercy on you.”

Loving people without true compassion for them is actually impossible in my mind. I mean I won’t seek their needs and I will develop programs that make “me” look or feel good about myself. I wind up doing the right things but quickly see more and more people fall away from me. GOD wants me to love “from the heart.” This includes SPIRITUAL love that only comes from GOD.

• Are you showing “fake love?”
• Are you struggling because your love is only filled with obedience?
• Do you find yourself becoming burnt out?
• Won’t you stop volunteering because you feel it’s the right thing to do and volunteer because you actually want to show love?

Cuts you like a knife!

James 3: ⁹ With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. ¹⁰ Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.

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Being laughed at was the norm when I grew up.  I had messy hair, clothes with holes in them that were too short and I was skinny. Oh yes, I forgot to mention I had thick framed black glasses. If you looked up the word ridicule you would have seen my picture. I spent an enormous amount of time and money trying to fit in.

After amassing my small fortune of eight hundred dollars, I bought some clothes, glasses and joined a health club. Soon I got on the other side of ridicule.  It felt good laughing at those broke weaklings who weren’t in style!

• My praise of GOD is faulty when I complain about other humans.
• My praise of the FATHER is broken when I look at other humans as the problem.
• My praise of our LORD and SAVIOR is defective when I think other humans have problems and “I’m okay.”

My tongue can be full of poison and is potentially a dangerous weapon. From slander to degradation my words can be quite harmful.  I don’t even have to be speaking directly to a person to harm them.  I can have side conversations that slam the person even when I have never met them nor understood them. GOD hears every word I say.

• My purpose is to spread GOD’s message of love and this is tainted when I dog the person out.
• My purpose is to show love so others will be drawn to GOD and this is spoiled when I use slander instead of praise.
• My purpose is to sow a good message of salvation but if my attitude towards other people is bad then my message is useless.

How in the world can I love people and hate people with the same tongue? “Hate” is such a strong word, maybe I should say “dislike” or maybe use “annoyed” to make myself feel comfortable. All I know is that I am not praising that person and GOD is not excited about my words. HE wants me to be able to speak well of my friends AND my enemies.

HE wants me to be single minded and focus my tongue with love.

• Are you complaining about “those” people or “that” person?
• Are you engaged in conversation that is pleasing to GOD or pleasing to a specific group?
• Can you try to tame your tongue enough to speak about the LORD to “that” person?
• Won’t you cut off the source of your poison so that you can learn to speak well of others?

What kind of “sorry” should I use?

2 Corinthians 7: ¹⁰ Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. ¹¹ See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.

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Let’s not dwell on how fast I was going when the policeman pulled me over. Let’s focus on my “usual” practice. I had my speech all ready and prepared in my mind in hopes I would not get a ticket. “I’m sorry officer” were the first words out of my mouth but his response surprised me and sticks with me to this day.

“Are you sorry you did this or sorry you got caught?” Wow, I never thought of it that way. I wonder what kind of sorry I was.

• Sometimes I say I’m sorry because I feel that’s what the other person wants to hear.
• Sometimes I say I’m sorry just to end the conflict.
• Sometimes I say I’m sorry to get out of trouble and hopefully get away with what I’m doing.

GOD sees the depths of my heart. HE knows if I am truly “sorry” or not. HE can see when I am trying to get my way versus truly being accepting of whatever punishment I deserve. HE knows how I would act if I were truly “sorry.”

• When I show “GODLY sorrow” I want to change my ways.
• When I show “GODLY sorrow” I desire for everyone to know what I’ve done instead of hiding it.
• When I show “GODLY sorrow” I seek to find what GOD wants me to do rather than trying to look good in front of everyone.

It’s not easy to admit when I have wronged someone or when I have blatantly disregarded GOD but when I use “GODLY sorrow” my mindset changes and HE delivers me out of the circumstance with a little punishment. Yes I said a little punishment and well deserved, but afterwards HIS mercy leads me to salvation and “no regret.”

• Have you been committing blatant sins and have no intention of changing your ways?
• Are you busy looking at what other people are doing and not looking at yourself?
• Can you admit things to GOD and accept HIS actions?
• Will you seek “GODLY sorrow” today?