Friendships

Friendships

3 John 1: ¹³ I have so much to tell you, but I do not want to do it with pen and ink. ¹⁴ I hope to see you soon, and then we will talk personally.

¹⁵ Peace be with you.

All your friends send greetings. Greet all our friends personally.

 

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After spending all day with a friend, I got home and heard a song playing on the radio. I immediately picked up the phone and called my friend. “Weren’t you two together all day? What more do you have to say?” were the questions asked to me.

 

I couldn’t explain my excitement.

I enjoyed people who would share in my excitement, and I theirs.

It felt good to be understood.

 

John closes his letter with a burst of friendship. He seemed eager to have a conversation rather than trying to contain all of his thoughts in a letter. He wanted to listen to his friend as well as tell what is going on in his world.

 

My Observations:

• Friendships based on GOD’s love help others to endure life’s pain.
• Solutions from friends who know the LORD enable me to be corrected as well as encouraged.
• Excitement about what GOD is doing can be heard from friends who seek JESUS as the Savior.

 

Work friends and organization friends are different. I mean, I have kept in touch with people who I met because we were forced together by the job or the group. These “friendships” enable me to have conversations that are safe. BUT GOD provides friends who can talk about HIM in meaningful ways.

 

Purpose driven people need encouragement, shared excitement and the bonds of going through the fire together. Those who place their purpose in the world may not be able to share in the understanding of the importance of having purpose in CHRIST. When you and I find people who are willing to pray for us, encourage us and share joy with us, our bonds grow stronger. I am grateful for my friends who call JESUS our LORD and Savior.

 

Challenge

• Can you feel the excitement from the writer?
• Have you ever had friends who could encourage you and share in your dreams the way GOD gave it to you?
• Will you be a friend to someone who needs encouragement, GOD’s way, and help those who seek HIM by sharing in joy today?

Old Friends

Old Friends

Philippians 4: ¹⁰ In my life in union with the Lord it is a great joy to me that after so long a time you once more had the chance of showing that you care for me. I don't mean that you had stopped caring for me—you just had no chance to show it. ¹¹ And I am not saying this because I feel neglected, for I have learned to be satisfied with what I have.

 

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Returning to the country, I was told things had changed in only two years. An evasive attitude of “self” had began to penetrate this once pristine group of people who would give their last when I met them before. But then I ran into a person I met before. He was warm and friendly. We picked up where we left off.

 

• I was thankful to see him.
• I was served by him and I felt welcome.
• I felt cared for, even though I had not been there in two years.

 

Paul expresses his joy over those who served him again after a long period of being apart. He was excited about their reason for serving him, namely their union with the LORD. He was not seeking to be served because he was satisfied with what he had. But it did feel great.

 

My Observations

• Old friends who are united because of CHRIST can pick up where they left off.
• Satisfaction with what I have can enable me to have joy with or without someone serving me.
• GOD wants me to care for those who pop in and out of my life.

 

“Friends of the road” is a term I heard years ago that meant we meet people who are fast friends, but drift apart as life goes on. This does not mean we did not care for one another, rather life’s circumstances may keep us from directly serving one another.

 

Whenever we reunite, GOD wants joy. HE loves when I pick up where we left off and express care for one another rather than disappointment. I am glad GOD gives me a path to be an old friend to those who come and go in and out of my life.

 

Challenge

• Can you hear the thankfulness of the writer?
• Have you ever reunited with someone who you could pick up where you left off?
• Are you satisfied with your life?
• Will you point your satisfaction in life to CHRIST to reduce expectations of others so joy can be the bond of your friendships today?

Purposeful Friendship

 

Purposeful Friendship

Philippians 4:1 So then, my friends, how dear you are to me and how I miss you! How happy you make me, and how proud I am of you!—this, dear friends, is how you should stand firm in your life in the Lord.

 

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“Why doesn’t he ever call me to check in on me?” and “Why do I have to be the one who responds to her needs?” were questions I have asked about certain people. After a while, I stopped calling and responding to people I was not getting anything “from.”

 

• I wanted to be served “for a change.”
• I wanted to have some attention “for a change.”
• I wanted to engage in a storybook friendship “for a change.”

 

Paul raises the bar on friendship by giving it purpose. He mentions how dear the people are and how happy they made him feel and how proud he is of them. Why? Because they shared experiences in their life in the LORD.

 

My Observations

• GOD wants the best for me, so HE gave HIS one and only SON to die for me.
• When JESUS was raised from the dead HE gave me the HOLY SPIRIT to live inside me because I believed I needed a Savior.
• Now that I am saved, GOD wants me to want HIS best for others.

 

Giving oneself to others is commendable, but when I do it in the middle of being needy, it can become detrimental. I mean, friendship is messy. When I am in need, so is the next person. Some people stay in need for decades because GOD is shaping HIM or her to do something great and is not finished yet. Meanwhile, I may take pity on myself and say “What about me?”

 

GOD doesn’t want me to give up on him or her because amazing transformations are happening that I cannot see. But when a glimpse of GOD comes out of any of us, HE is pleased. I am glad the HOLY SPIRIT fills me up so I can overflow HIS love to others.

 

Challenge

• What is the “life in the LORD” look like to you that the writer speaks about?
• Have you ever asked “What about me?” when thinking about certain people?
• Will you seek GOD to fill you up daily so HIS purpose will overflow from your heart and so you can endear “that” person and miss “that” person and be happy and proud of “that” person for CHRIST today?

Friendship Tool

Friendship Tool

2 Corinthians 5: ¹⁶ No longer, then, do we judge anyone by human standards. Even if at one time we judged Christ according to human standards, we no longer do so. ¹⁷ Anyone who is joined to Christ is a new being; the old is gone, the new has come. ¹⁸ All this is done by God, who through Christ changed us from enemies into his friends and gave us the task of making others his friends also. ¹⁹ Our message is that God was making all human beings his friends through Christ God did not keep an account of their sins, and he has given us the message which tells how he makes them his friends.

 

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Forming friendships was not as easy as it seemed. I did not like people who ridiculed me, so at that time, I did not like many people. One friend, who I have known since kindergarten, looked beyond the items of ridicule and introduced me to other people who I call my friends to this very day.

 

• I was accepted with my flaws.
• I was not judged by human standards.
• I was stretched to learn to like others I would not have normally gravitated to.

 

Paul uses a strange word when describing a pursuit of GOD. He used the term “friend..” At one point we were HIS enemy, but through CHRIST, we become HIS friend.

 

My Observations

• GOD accepted me with all my sinful flaws.
• GOD did not keep account of my sins because I accepted JESUS as my Savior.
• GOD has given me the message to explain how to become HIS friend through CHRIST.

 

Being a friend to people is important to GOD, but in a different way. I mean, HE wants me to have a real relationship with HIM and enjoy HIS company enough to want to share HIM with other people. My earthly friends wanted to share friendship with people, so does GOD.

 

HE gives me an important message that all sins have been forgiven through JESUS and the relationship is totally healed by believing in the need to be forgiven by HIM. I gladly tell how to make friends with GOD, because HE showed HIS love to me.

 

Challenge

• Do you see the genuine friendship expressed by the writer?
• What does it mean to be an enemy of GOD?
• What friendships have you formed over the years?
• Will you accept the highest form of friendship by believing in JESUS so HE can give you purpose to make others a friend of GOD today?

Friendships

Friendships

2 Corinthians 2: ¹² When I arrived in Troas to preach the Good News about Christ, I found that the Lord had opened the way for the work there. ¹³ But I was deeply worried, because I could not find our brother Titus. So I said good-bye to the people there and went on to Macedonia.

 

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Upon arrival in a certain country, we settled down and went to the same church we had attended years before. A person called out my name, which I though was a miracle. He was someone I had spent time with on the last trip. He was now a preacher.

 

• It was great to see someone familiar in an unfamiliar place.
• It was nice to pick up the discussion where we left off.
• It was a faith builder for me to run into someone who remembered me.

 

Paul wanted to see Titus in Troas but could not find him. He was deeply concerned about Titus and while he could have done a marvelous work for the LORD there, he left and went to Macedonia.

 

My Observations

• Friendships formed because of CHRIST can be special.
• Friendships created out of unity with CHRIST overcome obstacles.
• Friendships started because of living purpose in CHRIST help make sense out of a sometimes senseless world.

 

I hung around people who I called “friends” who had no concern for me or anyone else. I mean, our “friendship” was formed by the current sin we were into. BUT GOD opened my eyes to my sins and wanted me to speak about JESUS.

 

When I went back to my “friends” they asked questions about why I stopped doing what I used to do. I said “It doesn’t make me any better to stop my sins, but I do feel better when I don’t sin and I am forgiven when I sin.” Some listened, some did not. I am learning to be grateful for everyone I meet because the friendship I show may lead to a relationship with JESUS.

 

Challenge

• Why do you think the writer left even though the LORD opened up a way for work there?
• Have you ever been in an unfamiliar place but had a friend there to experience it?
• Do you have friends you can speak to about what JESUS is doing in your life?

Loyal Friends

 Loyal Friends

Romans 16: ⁸ My greetings to Ampliatus, my dear friend in the fellowship of the Lord. ⁹ Greetings also to Urbanus, our fellow worker in Christ's service, and to Stachys, my dear friend. ¹⁰ Greetings to Apelles, whose loyalty to Christ has been proved. Greetings to those who belong to the family of Aristobulus. ¹¹ Greetings to Herodion, a fellow Jew, and to the Christians in the family of Narcissus.

 

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“Sit right here on the letter ‘W’ the teacher said. There was no one with the last name with the letter ‘U’ so I had a conversation with the boy sitting on the letter ‘T.’ Decades later we still have conversations along with a few other guys who I have had the honor to know and love all these years. We pray together and time has tested our loyalties.

 

• I have met many people who I call friend.
• I have interacted with many people who are now my friends.
• I have prayed with many people who I can count on as a friend.

 

Paul switches to a different tone in his greeting. He speaks about family, fellowship and friends. But he does this in relationship to CHRIST. He knows that friendships can be fleeting, so he mentions Apelles, whose loyalty to CHRIST was somehow proven.

 

• GOD wants me to accept those who believe in the LORD as friends.
• GOD wants me to become part of a family so I can help serve the LORD.
• GOD wants me to see others as fellow workers of the LORD.

 

Friendship can be hard when I place my criteria on another person. I mean, when people have to meet certain standards I, or others who know me, have set in our minds, then few people will measure up.

 

BUT GOD is the standard maker and HE erases their sin and exposes mine. HE wants me to realize that other people are just as forgiven as I am. HE loves when I greet people who serve HIM and treat them as fellow family who are my friends. I am glad to be part of a loving group in JESUS.

 

• What is your criteria for “friendship?”
• Do other people have more problems than you?
• Will you reduce your judgment of others so you can have more friends who can work alongside you for the sake of CHRIST today?

Friendly

Friendly

John 15: ¹³ Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. ¹⁴ You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. ¹⁵ No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you. 

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Sitting in the back seat of their car, the driver and passenger asked me questions “Do you know JESUS?” they asked. I said “Yes” and thanked them for the ride. My car had broken down and I had no idea how far the next exit was.

• Many strangers have been very friendly to me.
• Many strangers have shown friendliness towards me without being prompted.
• Many strangers have done friendly things to me, even when I did not ask.

JESUS calls HIS disciples “fiends.” HE goes a step further and says “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for friends.” This is what JESUS did. But what am I supposed to do?

• JESUS wants me to seek opportunities to be a friend to somebody.
• JESUS wants me to stop thinking about myself for a moment and be friendly to someone.
• JESUS wants me to change my mind about people and be friendly instead of combative.

There is nothing I can give GOD when HE gave it all to me. I mean HE died for me. I cannot die for HIM, or can I. HE wants me to think of others with love rather than being irritated with them. Instead of being “too busy” for them, HE wants me to sacrifice my “precious” time to be there for them.

Laying down my life for a moment takes sacrifice. I may have to lay aside my comfort, pet peeves and made up human beliefs to show GOD’s love. JESUS showed me how to be a friend. HE gave me HIS word and wants me to pass it on. I can do the same, little by little.

• Do you complain about people?
• Are you mad at “that’ person?
• Will you lay down your life for a moment and show the world how to be a friend to someone today?

Fake Friends

Mark 14: ⁴³ And immediately, while He was still speaking, Judas, one of the twelve, with a great multitude with swords and clubs, came from the chief priests and the scribes and the elders. ⁴⁴ Now His betrayer had given them a signal, saying, “Whomever I kiss, He is the One; seize Him and lead Him away safely.”

⁴⁵ As soon as he had come, immediately he went up to Him and said to Him, “Rabbi, Rabbi!” and kissed Him.

⁴⁶ Then they laid their hands on Him and took Him. ⁴⁷ And one of those who stood by drew his sword and struck the servant of the high priest, and cut off his ear.

⁴⁸ Then Jesus answered and said to them, “Have you come out, as against a robber, with swords and clubs to take Me? ⁴⁹ I was daily with you in the temple teaching, and you did not seize Me. But the Scriptures must be fulfilled.”

⁵⁰ Then they all forsook Him and fled.

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“He called me the wrong name again!” I said to myself. He would greet me with the warmest greeting, but when someone important walked in the room, he would leave our conversation. This, however, was the guy to know. “How can I get noticed by him?” was my thought.

• Sometimes I have sought out fake friends.
• Sometimes I wanted to be in the “in” crowd so much that I would settle for fake friends.
• Sometimes I was popular enough that I was a fake friend to people.

Hundreds of people are pictured here in this passage, yet JESUS had no friend. The army of hundreds had no feeling towards HIM and Judas put on the act of love when his heart was filled with deceit. Not even the disciples acted like a friend as they forsook HIM and fled. BUT JESUS does something different.

• JESUS says to me “Greater love hath no man than this, that a MAN lay down HIS life for HIS friends.”
• JESUS says to me ”I have called you friends, because everything I have learned from MY FATHER I have made known to you.
• JESUS says to me “I will never leave you or forsake you.”

At times JESUS has been my only friend. When the winds of life are blowing hard against me and those around me are questioning me, JESUS has been right there comforting me and lifting me up. HIS love endures forever and HE shows me that friendship is not about leaving it is about loving.

• Has everyone left you?
• Do you feel alone?
• Can you take some time to be a friend to someone today?”

Friendly Fear

Job 6: ¹⁴ “Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend
    forsakes the fear of the Almighty.

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A few weeks ago I was in a hurry to get to an event. I parked downtown and exaggeratedly paid $2.5 Million for parking. While walking to the door a homeless person stuck her hand out asking for some cash. My excuse for not helping was “I’m in a hurry” so I stuck my hand up and said a small prayer and kept going. This bothered me all while I was at the event. I could not find her afterwards.

• Sometimes I have withheld my kindness for various reasons.
• Sometimes I have rationalized why I should not give to a particular person.
• Sometimes I have determined “this person is scamming me” when I really don’t have the full picture of their life.

I do understand that I cannot cure homelessness, but sometimes I have turned my eyes from them and I say to myself, “I have bills of my own I have to pay.” Then I poke my mouth out when no one turns to help me. How should I act

• GOD wants me to understand that sometimes I could be entertaining an angel and not be aware of it.
• GOD wants me to give sacrificially when HE delivers someone to me.
• GOD wants me to be honored to give when the SPIRIT leads me.

I actually should be seeking those in need but GOD delivers people to me when I don’t feel like being generous. HE wants me to fully understand HE owns everything and I should not get upset at how he distributes HIS wealth. My focus should be on the kingdom and that means helping out friends. The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom.

• Are you judging that person and have determined they are not “worth” your help?
• Have you elevated their sin above yours?
• Can you take the beam out of your eye that may be blinding you and help people?
• Will you seek GOD’s kingdom out who are in need today?

Being a friend

1 Samuel 20: ⁴² Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’” Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town.

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Having friends id something very dear to me. Some of my friends have known me for most of my life.  Seeing the relationship between Jonathan and David reminds me to pray a special prayer for friendships all around.

• LORD thank YOU for my friends.
• LORD thank YOU for blessing those who read about YOU and follow YOUR ways.
• LORD thank YOU for all friendships for YOUR SON acted like the ultimate friend.

• Do you have friends you should pray for?
• Do you have friends who need you to reach out to them?
• Can you pray for your friends today?

Being friendly

Leviticus 3:  “If your offering is a Peace-Offering and you present an animal from the herd, either male or female, it must be an animal without any defect.

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Caller ID is the greatest invention for business. I could see my coworkers’ number appear numerous times but I was too busy to answer the call. When I would see him in the hallway, my empty promise to call him would be repeated again and again.  I was actually brushing this person off and the priority was lowered because others were important.

• I’m not being friendly when it’s all about me.
• I’m not being friendly when the other person is the only one reaching out.
• I’m not being friendly when I make excuses for not being friendly.

Friends can hear the words “I apologize” and keep moving forward with the relationship, so I must take the first mending step. Friendships should not be built on what the other person does for me, rather who they are to me.

• GOD wants me to present a Peace Offering to mend relationships for HIS purpose.
• GOD wants me to seek forgiveness when I have done wrong.
• GOD wants me to ask HIM to work on my heart rather than wanting HIM to work on “that” person’s heart. 

I have heard it before, in order to be friendly, I must learn how to be friends with people. I should learn what they need and meet them where they are. I should bring peace so they can see the great plan GOD has for us.

• Are you at odds with someone?
• Do you treat others different because of something they said or did?
• Can you ask GOD to work on your heart?
• Can you seek peach for the purpose of GOD growing “that’ person?