Control Lessons

Control Lessons

1 Thessalonians 4: ³ It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; ⁴ that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, ⁵ not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; ⁶ and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. ⁷ For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. ⁸ Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.

 

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Stumbling onto a magazine filled with nudity, something inside me caught fire. “This is great!” I thought to myself. I told a friend what I saw and he got excited! His parents had a subscription channel, way back in the day, that sent a somewhat scrambled signal, but you could still make out the distorted images. It was “R” rated and we celebrated the brief moments of nudity.

 

• I did not want to control myself.
• Something inside me wanted to see the real thing.
• When I saw the real thing, I wanted to see and do more and more.

 

Paul, Silas and Timothy gave some difficult news to a group of people who may have been exposed to sex in ways that were not pleasing to the LORD. They do not condemn the people, rather urge the to “learn to control” themselves. This control would help in GOD’s calling.

 

My Observations

• GOD’s calling on my life includes self-control.
• The LORD is the one who sees what I do in secret.
• GOD gave me the HOLY SPIRIT to live inside me and wants me to feed HIM with things that are pleasing to HIM.

 

Self-control is a learned skill. I mean, when I really, really like something that is not good for me, I need specific ways to reduce or avoid that thing. Whether it be food, drugs or sex, addictions can be difficult to stop. BUT GOD provides help.

 

HE does not want me to fail, rather HE provides ways to help me live a life that is pure and holy for HIM. HE guides me away from harmful things that cause insatiable desires and focuses my attention on HIM. I am glad GOD is the one who provides a way.

 

Challenge

• What is the will of GOD the writers spoke of?
• Have you ever gotten into a crowd that said “It is okay” to do what you are doing, yet something inside you says it is not?
• Will you ask GOD for self-control so HE can guide you to live a life that is pleasing and purposeful from HIM today?

Not So Bad Zone

 

Not So Bad Zone

Romans 1: ²⁴ And so God has given those people over to do the filthy things their hearts desire, and they do shameful things with each other. ²⁵ They exchange the truth about God for a lie; they worship and serve what God has created instead of the Creator himself, who is to be praised forever! Amen.

 

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I was a bit nervous after bringing home the porn. I spent hours in the bathroom staring at its contents, “playing” with myself and did not get “caught.” After a while that was not enough. I had to have the real thing.

 

I was nervous again but did it anyway. I convinced someone to join me in sex. Afterwards, I looked around and the heavens did not open to burn me up. “Maybe I’m not so bad after all” I said to myself, continuing in my indulgence.

 

• There have been many times when I compared my sin to what other people were doing.
• There been many times when I thought I did not receive any consequence to the actions I knew were wrong.
• There been many times when I brought other people into my filthy world and soon that was not enough.

 

Paul writes something very disturbing. He mentions what GOD dictated to him. GOD has given people over to do as they please and fulfil whatever their evil hears desire. After the shameful act, then the lie appears. “That was not so bad.”

 

• GOD wants me to open my eyes to my sin.
• GOD wants me to stay away from the lie of “not so bad.”
• GOD wants me to confess my filthy heart to HIM daily, never thinking I am “not so bad.”

 

Each time I think I am “not so bad” I commit a “smaller” act of sin that takes my mind further away from thinking of GOD. After a while, I question my salvation because I get to a place where I am not acknowledging GOD at all. BUT GOD shows me grace.

 

HE watched me in the middle of my sin and decided to die for me instead of zapping me with some excruciatingly painful sentence. HE gave me another chance and wants me to do the same to others. I am glad GOD forgave me of all my sins.

 

• Are you addicted to porn?
• Do you or did you crave a sexual relationship outside of marriage as GOD defines it?
• Will you open your eyes to GOD’s grace and stop comparing your sin to other people so you can confess your sins to GOD and HE will be faithful and just to forgive you today?

Curiosity closed my eyes

Genesis 3: ⁶ When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. ⁷ Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

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Music and a crowd seemed like the place I wanted to be.  It was exciting to see everyone having “fun.” Let’s play “insert drinking game name here.” In other words we were in college and any game could and would turn into a drinking game.

I was curious because I had never drank before. When it was my turn I grabbed a cup and quickly gulped it down.  Everyone cheered and laughter ensued. We played until the wee hours of the morning. The next day I was sick and sluggish, but that sure was “fun.”

• The crowd makes many actions seem “fun” but am I masking something?
• The crowd makes many actions seem “innocent” but is it good for me?
• The crowd makes many actions seem “delightful” but where is the crowd when things go wrong?

The argument over drinking continues but I’m talking about temptation in general.  The crowd will have me doing almost anything nowadays and I will easily fall for it because it seems “pleasurable.” But what does GOD want?

• GOD wants my spiritual eyes open and my sinful eyes closed.
• GOD wants me to pay attention to HIS ways instead of falling for ways that take me from HIM.
• GOD wants me to view HIS ways as being pleasurable versus the tempting ways of the crowd.

It sounds like I will never have fun again, right? Wrong! GOD never said act like a stiff, judgmental, old crony. HE wants my life to be full and rich but on HIS terms not mine. The first sin closed every human’s eyes and even Adam and Eve’s relationship was shaken with each other. BUT GOD saved them and me!

• Are you justifying what you are doing?
• Do you think it’s hard to follow GOD’s ways?
• Won’t you start learning who GOD really is?
• Can you seek HIS loving ways instead of following a path that may lead to destruction?

Just say “No!”

Titus 2: ¹¹ For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. ¹² It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,

¹³ while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, ¹⁴ who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.

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Rain delayed the busses and everyone, including me, piled on the first bus that appeared. Standing room only forced us to be pushed to the seedier area of the bus where “that” guy felt compelled to light up his “homegrown” cigarette at six O’clock in the morning. He peered at me with a grin and asked “Want some?” That was an easy “NO!”

Later that day some of my friends said they were going to a party that night. I said I probably wouldn’t be allowed to go and they suggested that I sneak out. “Hmm, that’s not a bad idea” I thought to myself. The problem was I couldn’t come up with a good lie, our house was too small and my parents seemed to be awake at crazy hours. “How are you getting out of your house?” I asked.

• The world will always offer me something that seems “better” than GOD.
• The world will always want me to jump in on activities that are against GOD.
• The world will always invite me to join in activities that don’t please GOD but since “everyone” else is doing it maybe HE won’t mind.

The HOLY SPIRIT was place inside anyone who believes that JESUS (GOD) voluntarily allowed HIMSELF to be murdered by HIS own creation and is now living. The HOLY SPIRIT teaches me to say “NO” to the temptations of the world and HE comforts me “when” I decide to fall.

Little by little HE teaches me to take baby steps toward HIM and every time I fall, HE is right there to pick me up. CHRIST did the heavy lifting by removing eternal death from me. All I have to do is accept HIS gift and be purified. I can now take my baby steps toward HIM.

• Are you tempted to do something you know is wrong?
• Are you avoiding GOD so you can keep doing what you are doing?
• Can you turn toward HIM just a little today?
• Won’t you say “No” to that temptation and know that if you fall HE is there to pick you up?

Ease off on my measure of others

Ephesians 5: ³ But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. ⁴ Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

⁵ For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater —has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. 6 

Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. 7 Therefore do not be partners with them.

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“Oh no, they won’t let me in heaven” I thought to myself as I read this passage.  I mean I have experienced all that was written here. I wanted to rewrite the Bible and take the words “even a hint” out. What this is saying is I can’t get full of myself and look down on what someone else is doing.

Television, magazines and billboards promote sex, greed and lust that I easily fall into. Who can save me from GOD’s wrath?

 

• Sensuality is a weapon against me to lure me away from focusing on GOD.
• Greed is a weapon that enables me to fear losing money causing me to doubt GOD’s power.
• Obscene, foolish talk and coarse joking helps me fit in but wastes my time when I could be focused on growing myself or someone else.

It seems hopeless doesn’t it?  I mean isn’t everyone a little lustful or greedy or envious? Not everyone! JESUS volunteered to become a human and was tempted in every way. HE lived years and years without committing a sin and people who attended church regularly murdered HIM because HE told them about their lust and greed and they didn’t listen.

• GOD wants me to work at being pure because the SON forgave me for my impurity.
• GOD wants me to work on being generous because the SON forgave me for my greed.
• GOD wants me to work on being an encourager because the SON forgave me for my foul, coarse joking.

Instead of comparing myself to others I must read what GOD says about me.  HE doesn’t expect me to be perfect nor do I have to die for the sins of mankind, but the more I can focus on following what GOD wants me to, the more HE will reward me.

• Are you caught up in sexual immorality?
• Do you desire more stuff?
• Are you nervous about losing you stuff?
• Are you trying to fit in with the wrong group?
• Won’t you give up some of these things little by little and focus on GOD?

Wrong way signs

Romans 13: ¹² The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. ¹³ Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. ¹⁴ Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.

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Everyone was drinking and I held my ground “not” to do the same. It felt good for a while but after the seventeenth meeting under the same conditions I felt I should loosen up.  I mean everyone is doing it and I wanted a promotion. No, I didn’t dive into drinking but I jumped in on the drunken conversations.

With sober mind I listened to the flirtatious words and silly sophomoric jokes about body parts. “Hmm” I thought to myself. “Who would know?” as I joined in.

• There is nothing I can hide from GOD.
• Sometimes I treat GOD as a being who doesn’t see what I do.
• Many times I ignore the fact that GOD wants me to maintain self-control and I go the “wrong way.”

Knowing what GOD wants was something I tried to avoid because then I could do what I wanted without consequence. It’s called “plausible denial.” BUT GOD wants so much more from me.  HE wants me to learn of HIS ways so I can act like HIM in the “night” just like I do in the “day.”

What I mean is can you imagine me talking about body parts and flirting in front of my wife, kids, parents or in church? Well I can’t. So why do it when no one who would actually care isn’t around?

• GOD forgives me for lust but somehow a blessing is blocked here on Earth.
• GOD throws my sin away from me as far as the east is from the west but somehow the consequence of my actions still linger.
• GOD saved me eternally by dying for my sins but somehow my sins get in the way of HIS full use of me here on Earth.

Feeding my lusts, acting jealous, desiring more and more of stuff and less and less of GOD doesn’t take me away from GOD but somehow my usefulness diminishes.  Yes I will see heaven but that is no longer a goal to shoot for.  In order to be used fully of GOD, HE wants me to be open, honest and true to HIS ways. HE wants me to go the “right way.”

• What lifestyle are you living?
• Are you trying to do things your way instead of following GOD’s way?
• What are you hiding?
• Can you turn your life over to HIM little by little?

Get off the sex boat

Romans 1: ²⁴ Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. ²⁵ They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

 ²⁶ Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. ²⁷ In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.

 ²⁸ Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done.

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Alcohol, teenage years and dorm rooms are not a good mix for sexual purity. I can attest to this because I fell in the grips of this specific sin. Amongst the guys it seemed like some sort of contest or a conquest of women and the institution was no help as they passed out bags of contraceptives. I guess sexual purity wasn’t so important, right? Wrong!

• To GOD sex is pure to Satan sex is wild.
• To GOD sex is reserved for marriage between a man and women to Satan it’s “anything goes.”
• To GOD sex is special to Satan sex is common.

I tried to justify my actions by having a “girlfriend.” I mean maybe I was going to marry this one or that one but that doesn’t quite cut it when it comes to following GOD. HE wants me to have pure thoughts, deeds and actions which include controlling sexuality.

• When I follow GOD’s plan sex is special between me and my wife.
• When I follow GOD’s plan sex is a gift not a sensual pleasure.
• When I follow GOD’s plan sex is not considered filthy and HE will keep me focused on HIS will.

GOD will allow my mind to become as depraved as I want it to be which is quite surprising. The more I disobey HIM, the more HE will “help” me disobey HIM. After a while I would find myself in a place where my witness was no longer real or accepted. There is something special about sex to GOD and Satan knows it. Maybe that’s why sex is Satan’s biggest assault on GOD’s people.

• Are you following GOD’s “sexual” plan for you?
• Are you deep into sensuality and sexuality and feel you cannot change your lifestyle?
• Do you think pornography or a gay lifestyle or adultery or even “flirting” is alright with GOD?
• GOD is forgiving to anyone for any sin, won’t you give your sexuality over to HIM?