Marriage Expectations

Marriage Expectations

Ephesians 5: ²¹ Submit yourselves to one another because of your reverence for Christ.

 

²² Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as to the Lord. ²³ For a husband has authority over his wife just as Christ has authority over the church; and Christ is himself the Savior of the church, his body. ²⁴ And so wives must submit themselves completely to their husbands just as the church submits itself to Christ.

 

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. ²⁶ He did this to dedicate the church to God by his word, after making it clean by washing it in water, ²⁷ in order to present the church to himself in all its beauty—pure and faultless, without spot or wrinkle or any other imperfection. ²⁸ Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. (²⁹ None of us ever hate our own bodies. Instead, we feed them, and take care of them, just as Christ does the church; ³⁰ for we are members of his body.) ³¹ As the scripture says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, and the two will become one.” ³² There is a deep secret truth revealed in this scripture, which I understand as applying to Christ and the church. ³³ But it also applies to you: every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband.

 

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Seeing my beautiful bride walk down the aisle brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my face. I was finally married to someone until death do us part. I never expected any arguments, disagreements or opposite opinions, but they happened.

 

• I wondered how I could fix things under “my” energy.
• I questioned “my” every move and action.
• I felt lost and needed direction.

 

Paul addressed an issue brought to him, namely marriage. Knowing that marriage had the curse of inequity mentioned in Genesis, he mentions the only cure for balance and that is JESUS.

 

My Observations

• JESUS wants me to love my wife as HE loved me.
• JESUS wants me to leave my parents and have my own family.
• JESUS wants me to dedicate my family to GOD by HIS word, making all clean and presented without a spot or wrinkle or any other imperfection.

 

Hatred cannot exist in GOD’s marriage. I mean, the yearning for self-protection must be reduced beneath that of loving like JESUS does. Unfortunately this is not easy. Different styles, experiences and choices makes unity sometimes seem evasive. BUT GOD has a remedy.

 

HE gave HIS only SON as an example of true submission. JESUS never got caught up in the world’s tactics and showed what pure love looks like. HE, being GOD, suffered insults, never owned anything and was murdered by HIS own creation. HE said “FATHER forgive them” out of love. I am grateful for my wife and the example JESUS shows us and pray for continued growth in HIS love.

 

Challenge

• What do you notice about this passage?
• How do you think GOD brings couples into balance and back into full equality?
• If married, will you seek JESUS ways as the solution to true balance, peace and love today?

Stay for the Opportunity

Stay for the Opportunity

1 Corinthians 16: ⁸ I will stay here in Ephesus until the day of Pentecost. ⁹ There is a real opportunity here for great and worthwhile work, even though there are many opponents.

 

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“Why don’t you just leave?” or “Why not just give up? were the answers given to me regarding  hard situations. On the surface the short term solution of giving up or leaving seemed like a great answer.

 

• I was thinking short term and throwing away the long term benefits.
• I was thinking of myself and not others.
• I was thinking how this situation affected me.

Paul knew his time in Ephesus was going to remain difficult, yet he chose to stay. He saw the “opportunity for a great and worthwhile work” even though he had many barriers and obstacles. Giving up would have been easy and he would have been justified.

 

My Observations

• GOD wants me to persevere during times of opposition.
• GOD wants me to keep going when I feel like quitting.
• GOD wants me to stay in places where I can bear fruit.

 

Whenever the Good News about JESUS is spread, there will be opposition. I mean, opposing forces do not want JESUS to be the ultimate authority in everyone’s lives. The simple message of love and surrender becomes a battle ground as it is spun into evil messages from those who speak HIS name, but do not know HIM.

 

Instead, hate messages and divisive, discouraging words are presented as obstacles to hearing “JESUS loves all who believe in HIM.” GOD wants me to remain encouraged so I can see the opportunity of presenting HIM as the only answer. I do not like the spiritual battle, but I am grateful the battle is GOD’s and not mine.

 Challenge

• Would you make the choice to stay somewhere that you are not welcomed by some in order to do something great?
• What oppositions are you facing that are trying to make you give up?
• Will you ask GOD to open your eyes to the opportunities versus the barriers to HIS success today?

Wear the Tee Shirt

Wear the Tee Shirt

1 Corinthians 7: ¹⁰ For married people I have a command which is not my own but the Lord's: a wife must not leave her husband; ¹¹ but if she does, she must remain single or else be reconciled to her husband; and a husband must not divorce his wife.
 
¹² To the others I say (I, myself, not the Lord): if a Christian man has a wife who is an unbeliever and she agrees to go on living with him, he must not divorce her. ¹³ And if a Christian woman is married to a man who is an unbeliever and he agrees to go on living with her, she must not divorce him. ¹⁴ For the unbelieving husband is made acceptable to God by being united to his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made acceptable to God by being united to her Christian husband. If this were not so, their children would be like pagan children; but as it is, they are acceptable to God. ¹⁵ However, if the one who is not a believer wishes to leave the Christian partner, let it be so. In such cases the Christian partner, whether husband or wife, is free to act. God has called you to live in peace. ¹⁶ How can you be sure, Christian wife, that you will not save your husband? Or how can you be sure, Christian husband, that you will not save your wife?

 

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Traveling with a large group was probably a huge responsibility that I did not have to be aware of. “Put on your tee shirts” was the command I heard several times. The tee shirt had a bright color and a distinct design. Some people complained while others complied. Sure enough, someone got slightly lost in an airport in another country. I am glad we had tee shirts to identify with the group.

 

• There have been times when I saw the benefits of being together.
• There have been times when I could see the need to identify being together.
• There have been times when I saw the problem of not being together actually cause others to be affected.

 

Paul speaks a little deeper about marriage. He tries to explain the commitment required to be a witness for JESUS. Even if a believer were married to an unbeliever, he or she would be the example that leads people to salvation in JESUS. Unity is part of that example.

 

• GOD wants me to show unity so others can come to know JESUS.
• GOD wants me to seek unity as part of my service to HIM.
• GOD wants me to be open to being agreeable so HE can draw people to HIM.

 

Getting “my” way sometimes means someone else loses. I mean, it is easy to pick a fight and harder to show unity. BUT GOD wants unity wherever I am. HE is the one who provides salvation. I must align my desires with HIS so everyone will see HIM as desirable. I am glad HE cares enough for me to help me seek unity when I want “my” way.

 

• Are you part of a couple or group and still trying to get your own way?
• Do you get tired of being bound by rules and just want to do your own thing?
• Will you seek unity and surrender your life to CHRIST so HE can guide all who you are associated with, back to HIM today?

Out Clause

Matthew 19: ⁷ “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

⁸ Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. ⁹ I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

¹⁰ The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”

¹¹ Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. ¹² For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

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“Negotiate your exit” was the advice of the wealthy and powerful. They just knew their relationship would dissolve someday so they went in with an “exit strategy.”

• GOD says to me there is no “Exit Strategy” when it comes to marriage.
• GOD says to me “Throw away your ‘Out Clause’ thinking.”
• GOD says to me “Marriage is a calling, not a pleasure ride.”

Within a few short sentences JESUS speaks about sexual purity in marriage as part of this calling. HE calls the “Out Clause” thinking “Forced Adultery.” The disciples reaction was classic! They had been taught they could divorce and move on to the next so there was no need for reconciliation or control of lust. “Who can do this?” they cried out.

• JESUS explained a higher calling of sexual purity in not being married.
• JESUS explained the higher calling is for a chosen few who can accept it.
• JESUS explained that living married or unmarried is for the kingdom.

Anger, bitterness and rage can be controlled by those who are headed towards divorce or have already done it. GOD says “I forgive all who believe in ME” and HE means it. HE says to me “Love everyone as I have loved you.”

• Do you have an “Out Clause?”
• Are you bitter towards another person?
• Can you drop your bitterness and turn your rage into GOD’s love so you can be successful?