Too prideful to ask

Joshua 15: ¹⁶ And Caleb said, “I will give my daughter Aksah in marriage to the man who attacks and captures Kiriath Sepher.” ¹⁷ Othniel son of Kenaz, Caleb’s brother, took it; so Caleb gave his daughter Aksah to him in marriage.

¹⁸ One day when she came to Othniel, she urged him to ask her father for a field. When she got off her donkey, Caleb asked her, “What can I do for you?”

¹⁹ She replied, “Do me a special favor. Since you have given me land in the Negev, give me also springs of water.” So Caleb gave her the upper and lower springs.

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Sitting in my apartment I had finally hit rock bottom. Bills were mounting, I was not in school but should have been and to top it all off, I had been dumped! My escapades from the previous night made me question whether I should even pray or not. I mean, I seemed to have been too much of a sinner so maybe I shouldn’t ask for help.

• When I think for GOD I get in the way.
• When I am too ashamed to pray I get in the way of GOD.
• When I feel I can’t ask GOD for anything I may be getting too prideful.

GOD said “ask and you will receive.” I always felt a little nervous about that because I am scared of becoming greedy, but going to the extreme and never asking GOD for anything is probably just as bad. I want to be the giver, not the one who is in need.  And I certainly don’t want to admit I am a sinner because it points out even further that I don’t deserve favor!

• GOD says to me “Seek MY kingdom first and all these things will be added to you.”
• GOD says to me “Ask and you will receive.”
• GOD says to me “Blessed are the poor in heart for they shall see ME.”

When I have too much pride or too much sin or too much fear I forget GOD has too much grace! GOD’s grace is sufficient so that blows away any excuse for me to come to HIM over and over and over confessing my sins.

GOD’s love is everlasting so that crushes any lie that says HE feels indifferent to me. GOD’s kingdom is everywhere and HE doesn’t mind if I ask HIM for what I need and believe HE will supply it.

GOD wants to bless me, in spite of me. HE didn’t wait for me to clean myself up before HE blessed me. In fact HE is blessing me right now in marvelous ways!

• Are you afraid to ask GOD for more than your needs?
• Are you ready to give in a greater way once HE does bless you?
• Can you recognize HE is blessing you even through your trials?
• Won’t you put aside your pride and ask HIM for what you desire?